when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
