all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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