God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
