i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
