That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Someone signed my nipple.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
