Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
