You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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