at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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