Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
operation have a gay friend backfired
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
