Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
