Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
