Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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