I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
