But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
