nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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