When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
honey bunches of taint.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Randomize