There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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