There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
