I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
