yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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