I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
