oh fat girl friday strikes again...
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
