my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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