I wish I could punch you in the face.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
