Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Dear god my vagina.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
