i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize