well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
You're breaking my sexual little heart
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
