Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
