dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
