just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize