He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
