Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
