if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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