A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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