so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
