He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
