We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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