I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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