You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
