i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
