how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
