I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
A+ Viking dick
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize