there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
