Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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