the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
