I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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