Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
