So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
My ATM looks so different sober.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
