next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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