Rock
Scissors
Fuck
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
