After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
