Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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