Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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