You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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