sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
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