im so drunk with asians
where?
always
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize