He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize