what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
