But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
