what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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