addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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