so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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