Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
