I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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