Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
should my penis look like a turkey
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
