Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
