is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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