nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
