NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
