She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
