Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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