good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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