Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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