The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Dignity is for republicans.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
