You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
