i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
